Dressage to music RC qualifier. Sands Farm 29-06-13

Warmed up well for first test.  Went into the arena and had a meltdown at the man sitting at the side of the arena with a CD player on a table rigged up to a load of speakers round the arena with cables everywhere.  Cue a lot of rearing and spinning and general refusal to go anywhere near anything.  Couple that with sunbeams all over the floor and we had a very tense orange horse who felt like he just went flat as a pancake when we came down the centre line.  He tripped several times which I'm convinced is down to the surface as others commented the same and he definitely felt noddy on the right rein which is interesting given it's the left fore he's been lame on recently and the right rein nodding is his age old thing that he tends to show when he's not going forwards and I partly wonder whether it's due to him not stepping through properly from his ongoing dodgy right hind.  Will talk to the vet about this when next see him - might do some experimental hock injections and see if it improves him.

His canter work felt lovely - the music really helped me relax into a rhythm with him and apart from a tense spooky medium canter it felt really nice.  Whole thing left me feeling a bit deflated though.  Ended up on 68.88% and 5th overall out of 12 which is disappointing as I know he can do better than that.  Although judge admitted afterwards she is stone deaf so god knows why she was judging a music class - I have no idea!  We got straight 7's for our artistic marks despite her saying it was nice music and good transitions shown to match the music.   She did comment on the right rein and said "not always through to contact on right rein in trot work" - again makes me think about his back end more than his feet.  Technical he got about 67% - got 8 for medium walk and for his 5m canter loop on the right rein and also in his fluency of transitions he got 67788 so nice to see the 8's creeping in and proved he can produce them but only a 5 for his medium trot and 6 for his trot right.  7's for everything else.

Got back on him to warmup for the Elem and he just felt flat - had huge argument in the corner because I wanted him to bend right to do a leg yield and he said no and stood on his back legs big style.  He felt sound still but just not wanting to do the changes of bend for the leg yield, getting his knickers in a big knot.  Did some lovely simple changes but not really off my leg in the upwards transitions.  I just felt like he wasn't on side and ummed and aahed for ages but decided to withdraw from the Elem.  It was the same judge, same arena and the others in my class were much better than us so didn't feel like had anything to gain from doing it and was worried he might trip and hurt himself in the arena.  I suspect he was probably a bit tired as we did a lot of work the previous day working out the floorplans which ideally would not have been done the day before the show but was left with no choice after only getting shoes back on him that morning.

Been for a hack today round Puttenham and he still feels a bit lacklustre and was chipping in some short ones at the little jumps we did although seemed perfectly happy to go for a hoon around even though it was ridiculously hot.  Hope it cools down a bit this week.  Have got Parwood booked on Wed afternoon for some jumping and will otherwise give him a quiet week.  Emailed Tweseldown to see if I can swap to the 90 as just dont feel we've had ideal prep for the 100.  Really hope they can accomodate us.

DTM floorplans

Novice

start music at corner marker

walk down centre line and halt

move into trot and bear right to the 3/4 line

15m circle left

cont down 3/4 line and track left

change rein across short diagonal to the long side

15m circle right

loop round and curve back to centre line

trot down centre line then into walk and 1/2 10m circle right to the track

free walk 1/2 20m circle right

medium walk short diagonal and curve left into canter left

canter 20m circle left
5m loop in from the track

medium canter down next long side after A

1/2 15m circle left and back to track then change leg through trot

A - 20m circle right

5m loop down the long side

1/2 15m circle right and back to track then into trot

medium trot across 3/4 length diagonal

1/2 20m circle and start 3 loop serpentine back up to A

down the centre line and halt

Elem

start music at corner marker

walk down centre line and halt

trot down centre line

10m circle left towards end of centre line

finish centre line, track left

leg yield in from track to centre line

10m circle R towards end of centre line

finish centre line and track right

leg yield in from track to centre line

if poss loop off to the left and hit the track then walk

FWLR across the diagonal

medium walk onto 1/2 20m circle L

walk to canter left

15m circle L at approx B

simple change through 2 1/2 10m circles (away from the judge)

1/2 20m circle from the long side and start medium canter then medium up the first half of the long side

15m circle R at  3/4 marker

simple change through 2 half 10m circle (towards the judge)

back round past and medium canter down the long side

round the short side and curve onto centre line from the corner

back to trot

track right at end of centre line

medium trot across 3/4 length diagonal

1/2 20m circle left

up the long side and then 1/2 10m circle onto the centre line

halt

MRI scan results

So, after a nerve racking 3 days the vet rang this morning with the scan results and it is very good news.  There is no evidence of damage to the important soft tissue structures - the DDFT, collateral and impar ligaments.  There is some distension of the coffin joint which we knew about and there are some minor changes to the navicular bone that we knew about but that are probably irrelevant in a horse his age.

So, now we just need to find a long term shoeing solution for him.  Eamon spoke to Jake and both came to the conclusion Monty should see Liphook's farrier at least for a couple of shoeings as Jake felt he didn't have enough experience in the types of remedial shoeing that Eamon wants Monty to have.  We have arranged for Monty to have normal shoes put back on tomorrow which should allow him to return to work and then see Liphook's farrier in 3weeks time when we can fit it into mine, Eamon's and the farrier's diaries!  Eamon initially wanted him to see Richard Lovejoy, but it just wasn't possible so have got him in with Ross Eager instead.  They are both into the same types of shoeing so probably doesn't make much difference.  Both members of ELPO (Equine lameness prevention organisation) which sounds encouraging.  Will be itnerested to see what he has to say but we are going to have to be reasonable.   I cant sustain £200 sets of shoes every month and I really dont think wedging up his heels is the right thing for him when he's going XC on anything other than mud as he just feels them too much.

Good news is he appears sound again now.  Rode him this afternoon in the school in his hoofboots and he feels quite good and did some nice simple changes and basic trot work.  Kept it fairly simple as dont like working him in the hoof boots - they're so clumpy!

Lame again :(

Checked him over on Monday morning after eventing Sunday.  Legs all looked good, no filling, no more pulse than has become usual for him since he started wearing these wedges.  He was walking happily so I didn't trot him up.

Tue evening took him out for a hack and he felt great in walk, striding out happily but when I put him into trot  up a hill he felt lame.   Got off and checked his feet for stones but nothing.  Back on and trotted him on the flat and he didn't feel too bad so thought maybe I was imagining it but he didn't want to canter where he normally would be very keen to so maybe not.  Took him back to the school and trotted him round on a loose rein and he felt ok so cantered and he felt fine.  Popped him over a couple of tiny x-poles and he felt good - very confusing.  Put him on the lunge and he just looked stuffy and reluctant to go forwards - definitely something not right.

Wed morning - lunged him and again really stuffy, reluctant to go forwards, definitely not happy.

Vet came midday on Thursday - lame left fore in a straight line and on both reins on the lunge, still just generally really stuffy and reluctant to go on.  Surprisingly didn't look any worse when lunged him in the car park on the hard.  Palmar digital block to the left fore gave about 60% improvement.  Still bit reluctant to go forwards but better length of stride.  Discussed options.  Left fore foot has shot forwards and out but only 3wks since shod and cant maintain that interval between shoeing so if shoe is now uncomfy for him after that short space of time then they're not the right shoes for him.  Discussed more natural balance type of shoe or PLR type shoes with a slightly raised heel but no pad - vet will talk to farrier about what is best for him.  In the mean time, have him booked in for MRI scan tomorrow morning to rule out more serious soft tissue injuries. Praying it shows nothing serious and we just have to find some shoes he is happy in but foot lameness in horses in notoriously difficult to sort out and the chances of him returning to full time eventing are starting to look less and less :(

Lunged him yesterday (Sat) in the field and he was just pottery and reluctant to stride out - feet are clearly still hurting him.

BCA BE90 16-06-13

Another event blog has been a long time coming but here it is finally!

Did the majority of getting Monty ready last night, painted his socks persil white and plaited him so not too much to do this morning.

Here he is in the field last night looking all shiny and clean:

Final polish up this morning, rolled up his plaits and we were off to BCA actually eventing again - woohoo!

Arrived with plenty of time to go and look at courses - quick run round the XC as basically the same as last time I rode it but didn't want to make any silly mistakes.  Watched a few SJ and it looked fairly straightforward and not very big.  Ground was looking good thank god!

Got him ready for dressage and got over there with 25mins till my time to be told only 2 to go before me!  So, didn't quite do the warmup I had planned and as a result didn't quite have him as up and in front of me as I should have done.

Here is a little pic from the warmup:

And a short video:

Test itself went ok.  First centre line felt good but then he slipped twice in the corner which upset him a bit but recovered for the turn across the diagonal, half circles felt nice and the canter work was balanced (got all 7's up to this point and an 8 for the canter) then for some reason she only gave him a 6 for his 2nd half circle and said he could be lighter in the contact - felt ok and looks ok on vid so possibly bit harsh but hey ho, then back to all 7's for his canter and down into walk (I felt he fell into the trot transition but she must have missed that!).  Then an 8 for his free walk but only a 6 for his medium walk as he was resisting the pick up a bit and I felt he might jog if I insisted so played it safe.  Then he did a lovely final centre line and a beautiful square halt but swung his bloody quarters a mile off to the left so chucked away another couple of marks there - annoyed that I didn't ride that better as only got a 6 and could have been an 8.  Straight 7's for collectives.  "Pleasant test, could step under more from behind to support the shoulder more but well done".  Score: 30.5  Can easily see where we lost a few marks there which is super frustrating as the section was incredibly close.

Video:

Quick change and onto the SJ.  Gave him a canter round on the less chewed up bit of warmup then popped a few fences.  He felt a bit uneasy on the chewed up ground so didn't do much, just tried to get him going forwards into the fences.  Had to be led into the arena as usual but once in there he was super.  Was riding without a martingale or flash and in his dressage saddle after jumping lesson last week where he jumped much better (less is more!).  He jumped a lovely clear.  Did feel I had to push him on for a few fences to make sure he didn't try and chip in but he responded and left them up so all good and he didn't feel like he was having any problems with the ground.

Video:

Another change of kit and off to the XC.  He was well up for it in XC warmup - ground was super and he as off like a rocket and happy to tackle the warmup fences nice and forward.  Problems came when we attempted to go anywhere near the start.  He was not having any of it and was even rearing when being led.  We managed to get over there and get into the box a few times but then only had 15secs left and not enough time to leave and come back in so ended up trying to make him stand in the box which resulted in him standing vertical with me.  Luckily managed to just turn him round, kick him hard just as the started said go and we launched out of the box like a flipping rocket.  Kept up the pace all the way round - in hindsight could have taken it a bit easier but been working at BE100 speed recently and want to crack on with them so good to keep him in that rhythm.  Didn't really need to check at the fences as mostly kind profiles with easy lines.  Checked him back slightly for the corner but then ended up seeing a long one so probably shouldn't have bothered!  Flew the carved thing to the ditch.  I kicked on to the brush like it was a 6ft hedge out hunting and he didn't think it was worth a flyer so tucked in a little one meaning the photos are god awful!  Up the step and he nearly fell up it as was locked onto the Novice brush, but managed to convince him which fence was his, on over another box thing and down the step no probs, another roll top then he was tanking towards the water so took a good pull and just trotted through there before very nearly forgetting the rolltop on the way out was my part b!  Jumped that and then flew the last which is a decent brush.  20secs inside the time which is prob about BE100 speed so happy with that but being that far off the optimum dropped us a couple of places below those who were on same dressage score.

Video of last couple of XC fences:

Hatcam video:

After XC:

Hung around for a bit to find out we had come 9th.  Ridiculously close top 10.  29.5 would have got me 4th place and a Reigonals Qualification so gutted I didn't ride the dressage a bit better :(  We're always so close to these pesky Regionals but never seem to quite get there.  Last chance for this year at Rackham next week.

Afterwards took him off to the spa to spend 10mins with his legs in freezing cold salty water partly to help his poorly feet and also partly as he has a tendency to puffy legs these days so thought it would do him the world of good.
Waiting to go in the spa:

Here he is in the spa:

And here is he back at home relaxing:

Tracey lesson - Angel Farm - 12-06-13

Walk corners properly - thinking almost piris in the corners

Walk SI one side of the square then travers the next side.  On the left rein must really kick him off my left leg into the right rein so I can ride without trying to bring the left hand across the withers and the right one out to the side.  Outside rein needs to stay into the withers.  The travers was good and could easily give away the inside rein.  Right rein much better than left.

Moved onto cantering squares and thinking SI on the sides of the squares and mini piris in the corner then G&R both reins on the sides.  Tough work!  Did right rein first and he was really sticky - just not ready to sit enough behind to do this well at the moment - just kept grinding to a halt!  Left rein was really good though.  Must just remember not to bring his head in further than his shoulders in the SI.  Keep nose in line with shoulders.

Simple changes - ask for the downwards transition on the last part of the circle, think close the knees/thighs and lift my chest upwards to try and stop him diving onto his forehand in the downwards transition.  Think of a subtle voice command to use at the same time.  If he comes above the bit in the upwards transition then back to walk, think sit on bum, sit tall, close leg and lift up into the transition straight away and repeat until good.

Trot lateral work - ground to a halt in the trot LY in rising trot, was falling out through the shoulder and trailing quarters in the next country!  So, picked him up in sitting trot and he promptly did perfectly acceptable SI, travers and a not bad attempt at HP!  Bloody horse.  So, have to stick to doing LY in sitting trot and getting the crossing and not worrying so much about the forwardness at the moment.  Need to try and work that into our freestyle now!!

Kevin Woods SJ lesson 08-06-13

He watched us warmup over a 2ft9 vertical and I was quite pleased that I didn't try and hook to any of them and he popped them all quite nicely but I dont think Kevin was too impressed - he said he looked lazy, jumped flat and lacked the double push from behind to really ping him over the fences.  Looked like he paused on take-off which is an off-putting feeling.  Took off his martingale as felt it was restricting him and also his flash as didn't feel he needed it.

So we worked over a pole, 1 stride to a raised pole, 1 stride to an upright which gradually got raised.  Remember to look at the first pole on the ground.  He did mess it up once but managed to fiddle his feet and get over it.  Kevin felt that really helped improve his technique and he was pinging much better.

Worked on down a related 7 strides to another vertical.  Really difficult to just sit there for that long and not fiddle but if just let fence come to me it worked well.  Then moved onto a dog leg turn from vertical to oxer and oxer to vertical.  Managed to ride forwards from vertical to oxer but backwards hooked every time to the vertical - doh!   He did clout the oxer once when Kevin put it up and he just didn't bother picking up higher over it - gave it a decent knock and didn't touch anything else.

Built it up into a course of related distances and doglegs and he made it all seem pretty easy.

Main theme was keeping the forwards - use whip on neck to get him whizzed up if needed, keep the rhythm, dont worry about his headcarriage - it was insanely high without the martingale but he wanted me to give it a go competing him without it.  It did seem that when he got in close he had a lot more freedom to use himself and clear the fence without it so that's got to be a good thing.  Worth a try!

Merrist Wood unaffiliated evening dressage. 5-6-13

Seriously handsome looking horse all plaited up - he is gleaming at the moment.

Took his OR boots off once he was all tacked up and ready to go and something caught my eye - touched it and a load of pus oozed out - felt around his lower pastern and both legs were swollen and covered in scabs - basically he's got mud fever as a result of the OR boots rubbing.  I never thought to feel under his boots yetserday when I noticed the pulses up in his legs but this would explain throbbing pulses as it looks really sore.

Took him round to the warm up and we did some walk lateral work and piris followed by straight into canter work - first a stretchy outline then picking him up and doing transitions within the canter, some lateral work, some simple changes, some squares then moving him on on the circle.  Only did a little bit of trot afterwards as all felt good and very warm.

First test was P14 and he rocked it.  We were HC as he shouldn't be doing prelim HC as rather over-qualified but as not been out in 3mths I wanted to do it and it's good practice for the simple eventing tests.  Judge was List 5.  He would have won by about 2.5% out of a class of 20.

Had a wander round the warmup again and then quick pick up - bit of walk lateral work and a little bit of trot then in for N27.  He was a complete knob, spooking at the sunbeams, jumping them, dodging round them - just absolutely ridiculous.  Some of the trot we got in between spooks was bloody awesome though - super elevated, yet round and soft.  Spent most of the test laughing as no good getting cross at him when he's like that.  Somehow judge still gave us 63.5% and we came 3rd out of 15.

Got him back to yard, clipped his pasterns and cleaned with dilute iodine then plastered in Aniwell antibacterial cream.  No boots on so hope he keeps his shoes on!  Debating whether to give him short course of abs - pussy pasterns are not nice!  Pulses are still up today but hardly surprising.  Had no worries over his soundness on the arena today.

Flatwork schooling 4-6-13

Pulses visible 2/3 of the way down his leg between knee and fetlock medially both legs.  Palpable at fetlock level equally both forelegs.

Rode him in the school - it was hot.  He was a bit reluctant to flex right today in trot - it was windy though so not sure if it was just that.  He was doing the whole slightly unlevel thing again - it's just this faint headbob on the right rein in trot but it's nagging away at me.  Moved into canter - left rein to start with and did some squares then big canter on the circle which went well.  Much more reluctant to do the squares on the right rein but I guess that would be typical for him anyway and I guess should expect more so as not fully fit yet.  Caroline said I should work more on walk and canter and less on trot and should do trot work at the end once he's cantered lots.  Must remember this.

Spoke to vet yesterday about the stopping XC on Sunday.  He agreed right thing to withdraw from WW this weekend - said doesn't sound like he's as fit as he could be but also could be feeling the ground.  Wants me to crack on getting him fitter on soft surfaces.

Spoke to him again today about the pulses and my concerns about these pads not being the right thing for him.  He feels if they were a big problem he would be lame in them and as he's not then we should persist.  He did say we could take them off but it leaves us back in the position we were in before and is not a long term solution.  The shoes are the best thing for him in terms of trying to get long term soundness.  Have to carry on working him on a soft surface and upping his fitness and reassess again next week.

Have this de ja vu feeling.  Yet again have entries for BCA and Rackham and not looking like I'll make either :(

British Eventing camp LMEQ 1st to 2nd June 2013

Trainer: Caroline Jeanne

Day One - Dressage
Warmed up in tiny area of arena about 20m x 15m so couldn't do much but he was soft and chilled and all felt nice.  Went into the arena and he had a flid about the mirrors and banners - rearing, spinning etc.  Worked him past them and he settled down nicely.  Ran through BE95 - the arena wasn't symmetrically marked out so half circles were wonky, canter was a bit flat and the final halt was terrible as he was spooking at the trainer standing at C.  She said it was very straight though.  Generally it was perfectly acceptable test for how he is right now.  He is a bit on the forehand still since coming back into work - just needs to gain more strength behind.  Trainer said I was losing him through the shoulders a bit so need to make sure not too much inside bend.  She really liked his FWLR.

Then we had a mini lesson.  Did some trot leg yield in and out on a circle then same in canter.  Mustn't let him fall out through shoulder.  Then worked on canter squares which worked really well to get him sitting better behind and then moved the canter on on back on a 20m circle and it was hugely improved - big, up and forwards.  Very nice.  Walk to canter must not hang onto the inside rein as blocks him.  Walk after FWLR - make sure pick him back up again properly and not let him stay too long and down.

Day One - Gallops work
In the afternoon we worked on the gallops with a stopwatch. They had markers for BE90/100 minute markers and cones to simulate jumps.  Had to imagine cones were jumps, set up then ride forwards afterwards.  Both times made BE100 speed easily although did have to use fair bit of leg to keep him going 2nd time.  He is still lacking fitness a bit but that was 6mins galloping with a fair old break in between so not too bothered at this stage.

Day Two - Show Jumping
Came out of stable this morning with seriously filled front legs so took him for a long walk and some hand grazing before our lesson mid morning.  Warmed up over x-pole then upright then oxer about 85cm and he popped them all sweetly.  Concentrated on the canter and getting him into outside rein.  Just got told to make sure wasn't driving him into it - sit lightly.  Then moved onto a 2 stride double which he did no probs.  Then a small 1 stride double of uprights on 7 instead of 8 strides (she said should keep distances shorter when training as they're not so fired up so makes it easier for them).  He didn't lock onto it and had clearly gone to sleep, chucked in a short stride, scrambled over the first part, went to put in 2 strides, couldn't quite fit in a 2nd so stopped, slid into the jump, backed off rapidly then spun and I hit the deck.  Landed quite hard on my right shoulder (as per usual whenever I fall off!) but lived to carry on.

Straight back through the double again having seriously woken him up, pissed him off by tapping him on the bum but he was fired up and into my hand and felt much better and flew through it no probs.  Moved onto a 4 stride related distance oxer to upright and camera man had set up a remote controlled camera on 2nd fence which went off 5 times as we went over it and he shot off on landing!  He had the oxer down as just a bit disorganised round corner but otherwise jumped a course of about 90cm really nicely and trainer said she couldn't say anything bad about it and loved how he was jumping.  Didn't see any duff strides, held and pushed ever so slightly where needed but generally met things right.  Really pleased with him although didn't jump anything at all over our comfort zone of 90cm but not bad thing given the fall.

Day Two - XC
Front legs still somewhat filled despite the jumping in the morning.  Ground on XC was harder than I would have liked so didn't want to be doing loads but most jumps had artificial nice soft landings so was only the bits in between to worry about.  He didn't feel overly enthusiastic about having to do more work.  Tried to wake him up round the field but he wasn't really taking me.  Started with popping over 3 tiny jumps I wouldn't normally even look at and he didn't pay them much attention.  He then popped up and down the small steps really well, happy to jump off steps.  Then popped over a 3ft tyres/log combo he's done before and got in deep but then jumped well over the baby trakehner, followed by a house but then a bit sticky over the Haygain feeder fence so came round to jump the tyres/log combo again, saw a perfect forward stride and he chipped in, almost stopped and clambered over it - not like him but shadows on the ground so wondered if just that.  Moved on to a small corner which he popped like a pro.  Then did a step down with a small log on takeoff followed by a skinny log on a slight left bend then back round, up the big step/log and 4 good strides to a big skinny roll-top which he just flew no probs.

Then we had a rearing fit about leaving the group and doing the sunken road but once sorted he flew down there, left turn over a small hanging log then tight right to another hanging log and onwards to the rolltop under the rugby posts which he has done before so wasn't overly riding it as no reason to assume he wouldn't jump it and at the last minute he slammed on the brakes and slid into the bottom of it.  Totally out of character and took me completely by surprise :(  Jumped it fine 2nd time so put it down to one off.  Went and played with the water.  He really really wanted a drink so wonder whether he didn't drink much in stable last night out of auto waterer as wouldn't normally want to drink in a water jump - always struggle getting him to drink whenever I take him anywhere.  Cantered through water no probs and out over hippo.  He happily went down step and through water but was seriously sticky jumping up step out but then stayed straight and locked onto little brush 2strides later.

Then he was stood with group while other horse practised the ditch.  She then asked me to go through coffin going away from the group.  Got decent canter, saw absolutely perfect stride to the first part (skinny palisade sort of BE100 height), put my leg on for it and last minute he just slammed on the anchors again, totally skidded into it, jumped back and fortunately stayed straight but started rearing as my balance was off so was pulling on his mouth.  Fortunately he decided to calm as could easily have pulled him over backwards if he'd gone up any higher.  Really no idea what was upsetting him.  Went off again and jumped just the ditch to the brush and he didn't look at either so wasn't that, came back round and jumped all 3 finishing with the palisade and then turned round again and all 3 the original way and he was fine, if not as nice and forwards as he can be.  Had another rest while the others did it then switched him back on and did a little boomerang shaped skinny - he locked on, saw a nice stride and popped it.  I finished there with him while the others did the steps down to skinny and the big trakehners - didn't fancy the sliding stop into a trakehner :(

Absolutely gutted as he never ever stops.  I seriously cant remember him stopping with me before - he runs out if I dont ride properly but think only time he's ever stopped was when I held and held to the haycart at T/down first time I schooled him XC and he just ground to a halt (probably coz fence next door prevented a run-out) but I dont think he's ever done these last minute put down and slam into the fence stops.  He should be feeling great having had his joint injections 2wks ago and his 3rd cartrophen on Sat evening.  Not sure if the ground upset him as on the firm side and first time jumping on firm ground in the wedge pads as 2wks ago at Parwood it was on the softer side mostly although we didn't jump anything very big then so could be the fact we were doing bigger ones today and he just doesn't like jumping in the pads but then he's been fine SJ.  He did some bigger jumps today fine though and the one under the rugby posts isn't big at all so bit confusing.  Could be he was just tired after a long weekend and perhaps didn't sleep great in strange stable. Maybe he was just tired, thirsty and not overly keen on ground.  I really dont know but panicing about entries for events now.  WW is likely to be hard given no rain forecast so thinking I'll have to withdraw as too far to go for combined training - will cost £100 in diesel/start fee.  That's another chance at Regionals gone.  More importantly though I'm really worried about him - he does not stop - that is just so totally not him so something must be wrong.  I'm wondering if these wedged pads are the right thing for him - he was managing just fine without them before this lameness episode.  He is still landing really nicely heel first in them and he seems happy to dressage/SJ in them.  He was fine at Hankley on Wednesday and happy to pop the small hunt jumps.  No prob jumping 100cm SJ's last weekend.  I just dont know what to make of it all but I dont like it one bit :(  I think we are destined never to get to Badminton :( but more importantly I love that horse to pieces and I want him to be ok and dont understand what upset him enough to put down like that twice in one session.  Was holding back tears speaking to the trainer afterwards but they came out walking back to lorry.  Have poured my heart and soul into training that horse from the giraffe I bought and getting him to the stage where he can win after the months and months of rehab from stupid field injury and now all this.  It is beyond gutting.  My confidence is so fragile with jumping as well - now I'm thinking I dont trust him to jump and I'm going to be waiting for the stop as those sliding stops are not easy to sit to.  Not good, not good at all.